Hot as ______.

Speaking as a native Southerner who remained a Louisiana resident until the beginning of my adult life, I hope yall believe me when I tell you this.

Yall, it's hot.

Seattle weather is bananas right now. It's been in the low-to-mid 80s all summer, until this week when global-warming-induced mayhem settled over the city, kicking up the heat the last few days. The weatherpeople on the news kept saying "it's going to get up to 90!" which made me and Seth laugh because, hello, we're from the south, affectionately known as Satan's crotch, both for it's damning heat and stifling humidity.

But it didn't stop at 90. Yesterday was officially the hottest day in Seattle history, with it getting to 102 downtown. DOWNTOWN, which if you aren't familiar, is far above sea level and surrounded by bodies of water. The previous record was only 99, meaning it has never been over 100 degrees in this city ever, except for this week.

People are freaking out.

The weather is all the news is talking about (there was a serial killer on the loose last week, but they caught him). Tips for getting cool, stories about heat-related injuries, fires, and fatalities. And here's why: No one in this city has air conditioning. NO ONE. People are lined up for miles around the city looking for fans and air conditioners. And it's not just houses, lots of restaurants, bars, even the libraries are closed because they cant cool off enough for people to stop in.

In the south, if you tried to build a new house or a restaurant without AC, it would be like trying to build one without windows or doors. Fucking dumb. And every place here already has HEAT, so would it really have taken that long to put in an AC? I don't know, but I wouldn't think so.

It's f-ing madness.

LAST summer, my full summer here, I thought it was ridiculous that I would have to suffer through July and August without cold air. So, I went to a home repair store and asked if they had air conditioners. The salesMAN looked at me and goes, "Psh. We don't care those. You don't need one. If you wait a few weeks it won't be hot at all. It's a waste of money." To which I replied, "well then I'll go waste my damn money somewhere else then," and left (or something to that effect, the details are fuzzy, but I was pissed.) I never got an AC because, fucking hell, it cooled off a few weeks later, and I forgot.

Until now. Now people are paying out the ASS for ACs and I bet that smug s.o.b. is selling them to anyone who asks.

Anyway, it's not just me. People all over the city are pissed. There's this sort of general attitude like, "WTF, if I wanted weather like this I never would have moved here from California/Texas/Phoenix to start my nerdy internet startup." It's the same sort of backlash that happened this winter when we had all that freaking snow. People were like, "O hell No, I didn't sign up for this. If it snows like this again, I'm outta here." I swear this is one of the only cities in the world where people feel entitled to threaten a weather system.

Anyway, things are better today. It's only about 90 today and since I'm still not-yet-employed-officially, I'm at home in my bikini in front of a fan drinking iced tea. A lot like I would be doing back home.

p.s. Yesterday it was like 75 in shreve, because of all the storms lately. My mom called me because she saw Seattle on the weather channel, and they were sending a reporter up to broadcast from here today. She was like, "You know it's serious because that's the guy they usually send out to cover hurricanes." True story.

p.p.s. We saw The Hurt Locker yesterday. It's not ideal for wanting to forget about how hot it is outside, but it was really really really good.