Anyway. As I've mentioned a post-or-two ago, it's been kind of a big year for me, and a really big past couple of months. (Well, weeks really.) What I failed to mention was that I feel like the last three years leading up to it have been kind of a hot mess. In fact, I feel like I've spent the last three years living in a cloud of anxiety and radio static, which is something that I've only realized now that my head has begun to feel clear again.
For the first time in a looong time I've finally started feeling, well, normal again. It's weird that you don't really know what normal feels like until you stop doing it for a while, then go back to it. It's like when you're sick, you feel sick, then for the next few days you feel less sick each day until that one day when you wake up again and feel normal, and you think, "Oh yeah, this is who I am."
That's not to say that I haven't been myself up to now. Of course I was still me, but a different me, like a Me Under Pressure version, I guess. I also didn't really realize that I was not-me until now, when I feel like me, again.
I guess what I mean is that all the STUFF that's happened to me since the last time I felt like me has made me a different me. And the Interim Me wasn't very nice. Or friendly. Or open. Or patient. Moving away from home (and my family, friends, and boyfriend), starting grad school, my boyfriend moving in, finishing grad school, figuring out the city, being broke, looking for a job, finding a job, finding a different job, and moving to a new apartment were all events that I was in no real way emotionally and mentally prepared for, and that I didn't handle very gracefully. Handling all those things at once was definitely not Me At My Best.
One way that I know that I wasn't being me is that I stopped making plans. And I stopped making lists. I sort of lost all motivation to keep moving forward (which is not as dark as it sounds), I think because I was in some sort of survival mode because I felt pretty lost and weird.
Anyway, I guess what I want to say is that I'M BACK, BITCHES! And I made some lists to prove it.
TV Shows that are Awesome right now
- Modern Family. This show will warm your cold, dead heart. Love love love all the characters on this show, and I want them in my real family. Seriously, I've started reconsidering my no-kids agenda...but don't hold your breath.
- Mad Men. Yes, I know I'm late to this party. But if you have Netflix, you should catch up stat. Then help me install a bar in my office.
- Community. Joel McHale = love.
- America's Next Top Model. Ok, ok, I know, but hear me out. This show is good again. Or for the first time ever, depending on how you look at it. Game-changers: Andre Leon Talley as the fiercest, cattiest judge ever, a prize of the cover of Vogue Italia is making Tyra yell at the girls to be more editorial (and no schticky casting this year, like "only short/plus-sized/illiterate girls!"), better photographers that yell at the girls. Trust me.
- The League. FX show about 5 grown dudes in a fantasy football league. Your boyfriend is a character on this show, I promise.
- Boardwalk Empire. On HBO, directed by Martin Scorsese, starring Steve Buschemi. Set in Atlantic City in 1920 at the start of prohibition. Very excellent.
- GLEE. So so precious.
Things we still need for the apartment
- Rugs for the kitchen and bathroom. I think I want to do the bathroom in purple and gold. I haven't decided on the kitchen yet.
- BOOKCASES
- A filing cabinet for Important Papers
- A dining table and chairs
- A grill
- Patio table and chairs
- Art
- Frames for art I already own
Things are good around here. School started this week so work was craaaaaaaazzyyyy. Our fancy brand new building doesn't lock at night like it's supposed to, so the library staff is f-r-e-a-k-i-n-g out (understandably). And when things do lock, not everyone who's supposed to have keys does. I have more keys than everyone else in the building, and I have no idea what they all go to. Demand for tutoring services has been super high so far, which one of a few things: 1. We are awesome at promoting our office 2. This year's freshmen are super nerdy and prepared (who asks for tutoring before classes start???) 3. This year's freshmen are super dumb 4. People are wandering into the new building and stumbling into our office unintentionally. Should be exciting, either way. Seth is good because it's football season. It's like his christmas...if christmas was 5 months long. Please remind me not to get married or give birth between September and January in the future.
Right now our plan is to be in Shreve sometime during February for a long-ish stay. We might do Centenary homecoming for a few days and see my folks, then go to LC for a few days for Seth's fam, then go to Austin (hi, Jess!) for a few days before we head back. It's a good time of year because 1. it's homecoming 2. Seth doesn't have much work because the weather sucks here and 3. it's a good time to leave Seattle because the weather sucks here. I hope that if I announce it here, people will keep me accountable. I looked at plane tix today!
I'm going to make nachos.
5 comments:
1. I deleted the above comment because the spelling and grammar were atrocious.
2. I have a Box of Important Crap (that is it's name, and it lives at the top of the guest closet as a disguise of it's importance) that was like $3 at Container Store and came with dividers. I know you probably love dividers as much as I do.
3. If you go to Centenary Homecoming AND Austin I'll get to see you TWICE! I promise Abram will cook you delicious things....or we can just take you to the fun, cool restaurants we've discovered since you were here last :)
4. I am loving Oprah's farewell season, also. Her show on the education system made me not want to have kids and have to educate them. Sad.
I love your TV show list. I haven't watched Mad Men or Modern Family, both of which I have been trying to make time to watch. I've also been out of the loop on Top Model, which makes me sad.
But, I have been watching Glee and Boardwalk Empire. Oh and Survivor and Weeds. :) Oh and DEXTER premiered!
Also, if you come to Shreveport in Feb, let's please do lunch! I will probably be the size of a small car at that point, but you'll still be my friend right? ;)
Jess D:
1. I LOVE the idea of Box of Important Crap. I'm all over this.
2. Yes! Seth doesn't know how much time off he can get, so we might just get to meet up once...but we can make sure it's twice as awesome.
3. GIRL, yes. I'm already freaked out about kids. But now, I have to make sure they don't get awful teachers. Guess we should raise them here instead of Louisiana? I feel shameful for thinking like that.
Jess R!
How is Dexter's new season?? We don't have Showtime so I have to wait for DVD. Boo. I think I might start reading the books.
We MUST do lunch. I can't wait to see you cute(r) and pregnant!
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